Hi beloveds,
Let me start with some housekeeping: my emails have been going to the junk folder in your inbox. If you check right now, most of you will have 2 emails, one from June 10th and another from June 18th in your junk folder. This happened because Google officially transferred its domain business to Squarespace at the end of May/beginning of June and it messed up some tech on the backend and your girl's writing was categorized as "junk" by the algorithms (woe is my precious writing ego!).
Anyway, if you want to read those two newsletters, they are here: 1. A Prayer to the Prosperous People; and 2. Things We Fundamentally Do Not Understand.
If you don't want to miss an email from me, add me to your contacts and/or move those emails I sent in June out of your junk folder and into your main inbox.
Alright, now that we've handled that, let's get down to business.
It's Cancer season as many of you know and I always have a Cancer season moment where I feel the need to come clean.
Here's the truth: I don't love summer. I love the transition into summer (Gemini season), but I don't really like summer.
I have a hot constitution and I'm quick to anger and I don't really like people.
And the summer is hot and people are outside every fucking where. And they all want to stop n' chat. They want to hug and hear how you've been and they want to know my summer plans and blah blah blah.
But I want to retreat and go inside my little Cancer crab shell and wait for someone to let me know when it's fall. Because I *just* finished being my version of a social butterfly during Gemini season and I am honestly good on socializing for a while.
But in the summer, all people want to do is socialize.
And all I want to do in the summer is be where the people aren't. In my not-too-distant future, I would like to spend summers in the countryside near a cool body of water, preferably an ocean, where the people aren't. I've already scouted some places, but I'm not going to tell you where they are because then you'll be there too, and well, no offense, but you are a person.
But there's another reason I don't like summer: it also happens to be the time of year when I have my annual existential crisis. It always starts on the summer solstice and wraps up around my birthday (near the fall equinox).
During it, I always have to confront some big story that's been playing out in the background of my life unconsciously and dictating my actions, which means I end up doing a lot of intense trauma metabolizing in the summer.
This summer is proving to be a particularly brutal combination of metabolizing residual trauma from my days as a member of the Professional Managerial Class and its connection to living most of my life with undiagnosed ADHD and how that created a series of foundational stories I told myself about my ability to be capable, my self-worth, and what I deserve. Throw in a side of panic from experiencing a pretty healthy romantic and sexual connection as a recovering rape victim and it's a nice little cocktail.
But I'm not talking about my relationship with summer for pity or encouragement.
I'm here to talk about the magical phenomenon that is Cancer season.
Because while I absolutely hate the summer, I also really fucking love it, especially the Cancer season part. Because if you're doing it right, you can make huge strides during the summer.
You can put a lot of shit down that you didn't know you were carrying.
You can get lighter in the summer if you want to. And no, I don't mean physical weight-wise. I mean mental, emotional, and energetic weight. I mean your baggage.
Ya, you can put down your baggage in the summertime and just kind of leave it there since it doesn't belong to you anymore.
You can stop fighting fruitless battles in the summertime. That shit was fun in the Spring during Aries season, but now it's just too hot for all of that.
Cancer season prompts us to conserve our energy because it's too hot to expend it carelessly.
And that's why Cancer season is so magical to me, friend.
Everyone always talks about Cancer like it's this thing that's drowning in emotion, but no one ever talks about how Cancer makes its way back to the surface by lightening its load.
Because crabs are strong swimmers. They're never really in danger of drowning. Occasionally, they'll go to the floor of the body of water they live in to rest down there and to take a load off. But they are never drowning. After they've rested, they take off again and start swimming with their little propellers with ease.
So this Cancer season, I invite you to stop projecting your emotional baggage onto this heroic water sign.
Because Cancer season isn't drowning. You are.
It's you who has the emotional stuff to deal with. Not Cancer season.
It's us who have been speeding through spring without checking in to see how we feel.
It's us who have been high on life and intellectual stimulation and moving too fast.
And Cancer season is just here to remind us to slow down. It's inviting us to settle at the bottom of the ocean floor for a minute to take a look around and rest, not drown.
So we have to ask ourselves (because Cancer demands it), why does slowing down and taking inventory feel like drowning to us?
What exactly is it that we're afraid we'll find?
Because the way I see it, Cancer, like all Cardinal signs, is just here to tell us about our pacing.
Capricorn tells us to slow down and make a plan.
Aries tells us to go. Literally in any direction. You have to move somewhere to figure out if you're going in the right direction.
Cancer tells us to stop, assess, and refocus our efforts. We've been down a few paths now and maybe it's time to just pick one.
So I invite you to join me in this magical (and also annoying) investigation. I invite you to rest on the bottom of the ocean floor with me and take a load off. I invite you to do an audit: a mental one, an emotional one, an energetic one, and a physical one.
Then I invite you to let go of the things that are pulling you in too many different directions and causing you to drown.
There's already enough conflict out in the world. We need not hold onto internal conflict simply because we find it comfortable.
We need all the energy we can muster to walk the road towards collective liberation. So I invite you to consider whether you're trying to bring too much luggage with you, and if so, put some down.
Because Cancer season says you can come down here willingly to rest and reassess or you can let all the shit you're holding onto unnecessarily drown you. Either way, I'll see you down here, boo.
This summer, I'm trying out the version where I go willingly.
Won't you join me?
May you choose love over fear and safety over comfort,
Brionna
Communal Solidarity Practices for Summer: Climate change is here and that means it's very hot. Please remember your houseless neighbors this summer. When you leave the house, bring extra water with you and fruit to support their hydration. You can ask a houseless person if they want you to buy them food or a drink in a restaurant (coffee shops are great). This makes them a paying customer so they can enjoy a bit of air conditioning and use the bathroom. This is an especially beneficial practice if you're in a city.
Please remember that you are much closer to being houseless than a billionaire, which means houseless folks are a significantly more accurate reflection of our (and your) reality than billionaires. Please treat them with dignity and respect and honor their humanity.
Resources from the Palestinian Feminist Collective: Checkout these resources for supporting and learning about Palestine curated by the Palestininan Feminist Collective, including a digital action toolkit for Palestine.
Offers from Friends: Bianca still needs to complete more sessions to obtain her official EFT clinical certification. Because of that, she is offering 20% off all of her sessions when you enter the code TWENTYPERCENT at checkout. You can book via her website. Seriously, run, don't walk to book a session with Bianca. It was also her birthday the other day so like, give her a great birthday present!
