Hi Reader,
Most people who subscribe to this newsletter are femme-identifying and/or nonbinary. So today I'm going to write a post for the femmes based on some observations as of late. I'm pretty sure the one or two guys on this list won't mind since they've hung around for this long, but if this is what sets them over the edge, well, it's been a nice run babes.
So let me tell you how I got here before I get into the what. I got here because The Everyday Lawyer Solidarity Fund is 62% funded!!!! And that is amazing and my experience of receiving mutual aid through this fund is forever changing the way I view mutual aid, sharing resources, and the power of community.
If you've contributed to the fund, I cannot thank you enough for your generosity and your belief in the work that I'm doing.
If you're still thinking about contributing, I invite you to check out this post I wrote about why I started the fund. You can make a one-time or a recurring donation. We're a little over $11,000 away from the goal and every little bit counts. Please share with friends and family too!
But the Fund isn't exactly what I want to talk about. It's who has contributed to the Fund that I want to talk about. And as you guessed, that would be women and non-binary folks. Exactly one man has contributed to the fund, and yes, you guessed it: he and I are involved. Not in a serious way, but in that way where maybe he still goes to bed dreaming about the (theoretical) next time he gets to put his hands on me (you know you got to keep these mans on their toes!).
Anyway, he's the only man who has contributed to the fund. Others have liked my posts on Instagram, Threads, or Linkedin. Another has gone so far as to send me a private message to say that he's rooting for me. But actual tangible money that makes this work possible has only come from 1 man compared to about 15 women and nonbinary folks.
Once I noticed this trend, I logged onto Facebook (boy do I hate it there) and checked out my local Buy Nothing Group. All the administrators are women. Whenever someone makes an "in search of" post, do you know who responds? Women and nonbinary folks.
The group is over 1,000 people and after scrolling through easily 50 posts, I found myself wondering: are the men in the room with us?
I know these are just two personal data points, but I'll share another indirectly from a post I saw somewhere online. This delightful black nonbinary human was regaling us with a tale on their walk home from a community organizing event. They told us how fulfilling it was and how amazing it was to work with others to create change. They told us how many awesome women they met at the event and how they can't wait to go back. And, they also made a point to tell us that not a single man was at the event. And in fact, no man has been at a single organizing event they've been to so far. And they wanted us to know that they've been to a lot of them.
Are you noticing a trend here, Reader?
When it comes to community support and organizing, the men are nowhere to be found.
While this is not surprising, it is significant when you consider these new fun facts that a lot of patriarchy stands are deeply concerned about:
- Only 39% of white males are going to college and a very small percentage of the 61% not going to college are going to trade school. Most are content to stay home and do nothing.
- This trend of males declining higher education or trade school is picking up speed across all races and ethnicities. Males generally have decided not to do shit.
- There is already a large discrepancy between "educated" women and men and that gap continues to grow.
- That means women, overall, are higher educated, have better-paying jobs, and make more money than men.
Some are sounding the alarm on this because it means cis women are no longer choosing cis men. After all, they have nothing to offer. That means fewer babies are being born, which means there's going to be a shortage of laborers for the capitalist class.
That's why neo-nazis and white supremacist mouthpieces are telling cis young men and women that the most patriotic thing they can do is get married and have babies.
But here's the thing no one is talking about that I would like to talk to you, the femme folks who subscribe to this newsletter, about:
If we're the only ones going to school and working, that also means we're the only ones who know how to lead.
Please go back and read that again babycakes. After all these years of patriarchy shoving our supposed inability to do literally anything other than live in a kitchen, the system itself has created a situation in which the only ones who will actually be capable of leading going forward will be femme.
Y'ALL.
Y'ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL.
If you could see the devilish smile on my face right now!
Of course, no one (aka the propaganda mainstream media) is talking about this because why would they?
But just because they aren't talking about it doesn't make it any less true.
That means we need to start thinking seriously about what it means to lead right now. We need to be having conversations about what it means to lead in collapse, after we collapse completely, and during the rebuild.
We need to start talking about what that kind of leadership looks like. We need to talk about what it means to lead and how we want to lead. And yes, it will certainly help (and also be fun and a bit therapeutic) to talk about all the ways men's "leadership" has failed us throughout the centuries. But we'll also need to reimagine leadership because the models we've been subjected to are deeply harmful and repeatedly create crises.
Is this a rather large undertaking? Yes, yes it is.
But I want to remind you that we are already leading in all the ways that it matters.
It's us showing up to the community events to organize.
It's us doing community care and knowing that if one of us doesn't have what we need, then none of us do.
It's us.
And the truth is, it's always been us. We've just never had the opportunity to step into the spotlight. Well, now there's going to be nothing but spotlight because the cis men are at home on the couch sitting in their dirty diapers.
And quite frankly, I'm fine with that. I feel like they could collectively use a time-out.
So as we're getting ready for this monumental power shift, I ask you to consider what kind of leader you want to be, friend. And where are the opportunities for you to lead?
I know for me, that looks like agreeing to be one of the leaders of this initiative to support Black Founders in Baltimore (not to mention, that's literally why the Solidarity Fund exists). And even though it feels like a bit of a daunting task with a lot of hard work, challenging discussions, and thoughtful actions ahead, I feel ready for it.
What kind of leading are you doing and/or what kind of leading do you feel ready for? Let me know in a reply to this email.
Lastly, HAPPY FREAKING PRIDE everybody! May this month find you settling deeper into the most liberated expression of who you are and leaning into the ways the needs and rights of our communities can intersect to create movements.
May you choose love over fear and safety over comfort,
Brionna
Mutual Aid for Palestinians: Operation Olive Branch has a list of GoFundMe's for families trying to evacuate Rafah before they are massacred. Check out the spreadsheet and donate whatever you can.
Offers from Friends: Bianca still needs to complete more sessions to obtain her official EFT clinical certification. Because of that, she is offering 20% off all of her sessions when you enter the code TWENTYPERCENT at checkout. You can book via her website. Seriously, run, don't walk to book a session with Bianca. It was also her birthday the other day so like, give her a great birthday present!
